Hunted Chapter 8: Flashback Part How is this Still Happening? Please stop.

Flashback Part 7: We’ve been stuck in this flashback for more than six chapters, with no end in sight.  If there is no escape it will be a horrible fate to suffer, but I shall hold. We cannot get out. We cannot get out. It has taken the seventh chapter and the eighth. I started reading this five days ago but today it continues relentlessly. The flashback is up to a fifth of the book – we cannot get out. The end comes soon.

We’re still with Zoey reading poetry. Kramisha has a lot of poetry about Kalona, and it’s all vague and uninformative. You might call this a waste of space, but then you’d be completely sane and correct. Zoey asks why Kramisha wrote the poem and she says just because it came to her, as if inserted into her mind by some sort of author-god.

“What did you think it meant?” Jack asked, patter her arm gently a lot like he patted Duchess (she was curled up by his feet).

What the heck kind of comparison was that? Is Cast just really worried we’re going to forget Jack has a dog? Kramisha says she just wrote them without really thinking, and Zoey looks at her poems to see that they’re painfully obviously all about Kalona. Zoey asks her to copy all the poems for her, despite the fact that they contain no useful information. Zoey says Kramisha has a gift from Nyx, I guess to write precognitive poetry. That’s just what this book needed: More people who have vague visions of future events that will probably never happen because we’re too busy talking about sandwiches and poetry. I have an idea! Instead of talking about Kalona, let’s go see the actual Kalona.

Erik says that Kramisha would make a better Poet Laureate than Loren did, and Zoey agrees.

Nyx obviously had her hand on this kid. What the hell. I’m the only High Priestess we have. I can make a proclamation.

What? Zoey’s not a High Priestess. When did that happen? What proclamation? Stop it, Zoey. Sit down.

“Kramisha, I’m going to make you our first Poet Laureate.”

What? What? What? Ha. No. No. Nonononononononononono. Noooooooooo. I don’t think so. No. Unless I missed the part where Zoey became a full vampyre, graduated from school and completed the necessary qualifications to become a high priestess, I think Zoey just declared herself queen. Please tell me she’s kidding.

“I’m not kidding. We’re a new kind of vamp group. We’re a civilized new kind of vamp group, and that means we need a Poet Laureate. You’re it.”

I kind of thought that, considering the circumstances, they might need a doctor, or a military strategist, or a diplomat, or something. But I guess poet is important too. Jack points out that the Council of Nyx has to vote on new Poet Laureates, but Zoey says screw them, she is God. Everyone congratulates Kramisha on her amazing accomplishments.

Congratulations on being the only poet who was chosen by our snotty teenage leader to be special.

They leave Kramisha to her work, and wonder what the poetry means. Spoiler alert! Nothing. It means nothing. They realize they’re going to need some help to decipher the poetry.

There was a short pause, and then the three of us spoke together, “Damien.”

Spooky shadows, bats, and my worries about the red fledglings temporarily forgotten, I hurried down the tunnel with Erik and Jack.

And so they go to the depot to take showers. Wait, I thought they were going to look for Damien? They all said “Damien” simultaneously and then hurried away with purpose, so wasn’t that what they were going to do?

Who can help us solve this important problem we’re facing? I know! Damien! Now let’s briskly walk away to take a shower!

Zoey describes the depot in excruciating detail and worries about the fact that her cell phone still doesn’t work.

Before I did anything I pulled my cell phone out of my purse.

How does Zoey even have her purse with her? She definitely didn’t have it when she was performing the ritual, so did it just spontaneously appear on her arm sometime between when the world was falling into chaos, and when everyone was running away to hide in the tunnels? Erik points out that the cell phone towers might have been knocked out by the storm, but Zoey’s world doesn’t run on logic, so she doesn’t think it’s a natural phenomenon. They’re in an abandoned building, just barely out of deep underground tunnels – actually having cell service would an an unnatural phenomenon.

They find the showers, but before Zoey and Erik can part ways, he asks her if they’re back together again. Zoey thinks that she wants to talk about sex before they get back together, but doesn’t think Erik’s tiny brain and fragile ego would be able to take it, so she says yes. Erik kisses her again, and with that, the tiny amount of character development that occurred when they were broken up, vanishes into oblivion. Farewell, Erik’s feeble personality! Zoey thinks that Erik is now a man and therefore much sexier than before, and then goes to take a shower, because flashbacks really need more sandwiches and showers. Maybe some teeth brushing, and tying of shoes will be featured as well.